• Henni Hiirsalmi

Text me when you get home

[Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls.]


Most people have probably seen someone share the “Text me when you get home” -post on Instagram.


Briefly explained: A 33-year-old woman called Sarah Everard went missing in London on March 3rd, and never arrived home. Following that, an English influencer Lucy Mountain, posted a screenshot of an unread “text me when you get home” -message. It’s been shared all over social media for the past couple weeks and started a whole cross-platform social media phenomenon. Millions of people started acting and raising their voices for gender equality.


Now, I believe this is very good for raising awareness and pointing out the flaws in our society that many people might not even have thought about. However, I, a white woman living in the Nordics cannot get behind the amount of toxicity and aggressiveness this movement seems to be presenting.


The caption says:

We have all shared our live locations.

(Yes, I think I have, once or twice when I’ve gone on a first date but never have I ever actually been worried)


We have all changed our shoes.

(I don’t even know why I’d do that – heels are uncomfortable? That’s why I’ve done it, might have missed the point)


We have all held our keys between our fingers.

(No, never even thought about doing that before reading this.)


We have all made phone calls, both real and fake.

(Never made a fake one, real ones because I’m easily bored and like talking)


We have all tucked our hair inside our coats.

(Nope, never thought about it)


We have all ran down dark roads.

(Once or twice because I was freezing and tired and wanted to get home fast)


We have all theorised our escape routes.

(I seriously never remember doing this outside of a videogame.)


Maybe I’m just lucky, but the few friends I’ve talked to have had similar experiences to mine. Of course, horrible things happen to girls and women here, but sick people are everywhere. I’m not saying that we are completely 100,00% equal yet, but damn close to being so. I don’t feel mistreated as a young woman, but I know there’s a lot of room for improvement. This just isn’t the right way to tackle the minor problems that are left in our countries. Aggressive confrontation leads to polarization and more hatred. I’m no expert, but I’m afraid it might be a step in the wrong direction.


When this all started men were called out because not many of them shared the posts or commented anything. I understand why. No one dared to step their foot inside of the circle because the atmosphere was so highly confrontational. And when someone was brave enough to open their mouth, it suddenly became problematic, because “we don’t need a man to speak up for us” and “it’s taking up space from the female voices”. Weren’t all voices supposed to be equal?


What an acquaintance of mine wrote on her Instagram story last week crossed a line. She compared her experiences to racism and said that “no white person would go and tell the world about black people’s experiences, so no male should talk about misogyny”. Yes, a white Finnish girl is comparing her experiences and position to racial inequality. This was too much for me. I cannot sit down and listen to that hypocritical and shameless bs. All I could think of was, how dare she?? That’s just wrong.


I want to emphasize the words _here_ and _our countries_, because most of the women living on this planet are still facing serious problems caused by systematic misogyny. There’s so much left to do to achieve a state that even remotely resembles equality in most countries. Instead of fighting over a few pennies up here we should help others and try to spread awareness of how bad the situation is elsewhere. Not many of us realize how lucky and privileged they are to have born in a welfare country where they have the same opportunities as everyone else.


Women empowering each other and fighting for their rights is amazing, but this whole show is not it for me. Open conversation is the way to go imo, and if that was what we wanted to achieve, the mission failed horribly. I hope that one day we can all come together in the name of equality and solidarity, standing for those weaker than us, and educating and listening to those who don’t know better. That’s how we learn.


Might be that I’ve missed the whole point of this conversation, but these are the first thoughts that arise whenever I see these statements all over social media. I don’t know if I’m educated enough to speak up, but I feel like should take part in the conversation and share an opposing female opinion.



What are your thoughts?




Hope you have a great day! xx


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